Ebook , by Gail Steketee Randy O. Frost
Ebook , by Gail Steketee Randy O. Frost
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, by Gail Steketee Randy O. Frost
Ebook , by Gail Steketee Randy O. Frost
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Product details
File Size: 2760 KB
Print Length: 309 pages
Publisher: Mariner Books; First edition (April 20, 2010)
Publication Date: January 25, 2011
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B003JAO0QI
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#269,107 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I have read or have on a shelf most of the books by other writers listed by this author. When my loving, helpful son mentioned this book as a resource for me, I was not even hopeful that it would be any more beneficial than the others have been in changing my attitude or behavior regarding my hoarding. But it has. Maybe I am just ready. Maybe the case histories paralleled my own more closely than others have previously. The reason why is not important, but the glimmer of hope is. Immensely so.My entire extended family just returned from a lengthy vacation together where a good time was had by all. The place where we stayed was palatial. I was able to leave in the trash there things I had bought for traveling that I probably would not use again, and clothes that had seen their better days. And donated new things I had not used to the cleaners. I did not overload myself with souvenirs.When I returned to my hoarded home, the stuff I have accumulated over decades was not welcoming. It was as if the scales had been removed from my eyes and I was offended by the lack of order. I'm still jet-lagged but I have started my quest to freedom by tossing a few things and setting aside things I no longer treasure to donate. For the first time in forever I think I can, just like the little engine that could. I am grateful for this book at this time in my life. Now the work begins..
"Stuff" is a very thorough and compassionate look into a world most of us simply can't understand at all. I picked this book up because there are hoarder-ish people in both my and my husband's families, and I wanted to understand them better. They aren't stupid, yet somehow they are blind to the awful situations they put themselves into -- why? What makes an intelligent, often insightful person look at a crumpled bread bag from 2009 and freak out at the thought of discarding such a treasure? Frost has gone where most fear to tread, and found tremendous humanity in these often-despised hoarders. Far from dismissing them as "crazy," Frost looks to understand their pain and their internal logic, and finds that hoarders are much like "normal" people, only with certain personality traits dialed up way beyond "11." It's startling to see how much almost everyone has in common with hoarders, and it made me rethink my own (non-disordered) relationship with "stuff."If you're looking for a freakshow like you'd see on the TV show "Hoarders," well, there's a bit of that here -- but tempered with a lot of thinking, sincere asking of questions, and even philosophy about man's relationship with the world.
If you have a hoarder in the family, a neighbor, friend, etc. This book will shed some light on the problem.We found out my father had been "hoarding" for years when he took a fall and we went up to help.My wife was angry because NOTHING could be thrown out.My father in law became hostile and angry (very uncharacteristic of his usual outgoing and happy countenance) when you even asked to throw useless "stuff" out. It was all treasure to him!Although this is not a "help" or "solve the problem manual" it definitely sheds light on this bizarre illness. Compassion and some understanding came from my wife and I after reading this.
I was married to a woman who was a compulsive hoarder and it ended up ending our marriage, so I was very interested in the topic.The book starts off a little slow giving case history after case history but once the author get started on an analysis of what's going on in the heads of hoarders my interest picked up considerably.If you're not involved with a person who is a hoarder then this book may be a difficult and tedious read. But if someone close to you suffers from this malady you may find this a very useful and very interesting volume.
This is one of the most insightful books I have read about the psychology behind cluttering and hoarding. I originally purchased this because I wanted to understand why it was hard for me and others in my family to make decisions when de-cluttering our houses and storage spaces. We are what I would call "serial clutterers" where we always have spaces in the home that never remain tidy and while the objects themselves change over time, the area always looks the same (i.e. hall way "stash areas", dining room table, overflowing book cases, etc.). We have read many "how-to" books on organizing (i.e. sort into keep, donate, trash, etc.) but that didn't get to the heart of the matter of "why" and how to let go.This researcher wrote a book on his research, but more importantly his observations of extreme hoarders. It was insightful, researched, but most important of all, an easy to read. What hit home the most was why these people did what they did (all different reasons) but it was usually a symptom of something lacking in their lives or past trauma and it was rarely about the physical "stuff". It was always about the mental/emotional "stuff" and what the acquiring, keeping or letting go of those item meant. Sometimes the physical clutter just kept a reminder of something unpleasant hidden so they wouldn't have to deal with the emotions of it. While my family are not hoarders, I found myself seeing similarities as to why I would keep things, or why I had purchased multiples of items (when I couldn't find the ones I already had).This book is a good read for those who like to reflect on examples of others. However, if you are looking for a "how to" book, as though someone is talking to you personally I would recommend the books by Peter Walsh an David Tolin.
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